THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK

THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK
MARK MANSON
GENRE : SELF-HELP
FIRST PUBLISHED : 2016

Charles Bukowski was an alcoholic, a womanizer, a compulsive gambler and, to use the words of the author, a “lout”, “cheapskate” and “deadbeat”. Well, as all of us know, Bukowski was also a poet. As far as Manson is concerned, Charles would be the last person to ask life advice from. He would also be the last person to be quoted in a self-help book. And that’s exactly why Manson begins his book by telling us his story. Bukowski spent more than thirty years living like this. Then, one day, the manager of a publishing company gave him a chance. The poet wrote his first book and thus became, at the age of fifty, a renowned novelist and poet. In Manson’s opinion, this man embodies the American dream. Indeed, he fights for what he wants, never gives up and finally realizes his wildest dreams. Nevertheless, the author doesn’t believe it is that determination that lead Bukowski to success. According to him, he finds success because he’s aware of being a loser, he is okay with it and understands how to exploit this identity in all honesty by writing books. In short, the success of Bukowski, according to Manson, is to be a failure and to come to terms with it. So this, readers, is how Manson starts his famous self-help book.

Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the most productive use of your time and energy. This is true because every life has problems associated with it and finding meaning in your life will help you sustain the effort needed to overcome the particular problems you face. Thus, one can say that the key to living a good life is not giving a fuck about more things, but rather, giving a fuck only about the things that align with your personal values.

Unlike simple affirmations or personal growth books designed to flatter or soothe, Manson urges readers to "change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.” Throughout, the author continually slaps readers sharply across the face, using blunt, funny, and deceptively offhand language. Manson's cheeky but thoughtful opinions combine with in-depth advice in such sections as "You're Wrong About Anything (But So Am I)" and "How To Be a Little Less Certain of Yourself”. 

When I start any book review, I am usually very mindful that the author has spent a lot of time working on their text. I try to honestly evaluate a book whilst erring on the positive. I definitely avoid stating anything personally negative about the writer themselves. Admittedly this can lead to fairly bland reviews when a book is just mediocre. With‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck', I couldn’t do this. It was impossible to separate the author from the writing. Basically what I am trying to say is, my first impressions regarding this book were not good...

With its click bait title, Manson almost alienated me before I had hardly started reading. I disliked and disbelieved in the ‘we’re all mates together’ tone of the first few chapters immensely; the authorial voice sounded arrogant and self-absorbed. I was utterly unconvinced by what I think was an attempt to be self-deprecating and thought the author came over as being somewhere between a complete sleazebag and a stereotypical 'rich kid'. His own sense of entitlement made me feel he was the least equipped person on the planet to write about, as he does, the sense of entitlement others feel. 

​Jump to two quarters of the book and I was fully immersed in the writing and prepared to engage in some intellectual thought about Manson’s commentary. By the end of the text I was completely won over.  I was prepared to dig deep and reflect on the validity of his arguments. Manson’s use of analogy and personal experiences served as a good tool against which to pin personal reflection. I am sure as Manson progressed through the book he became kinder and wiser.

Although, I’m not great at evaluating non-fiction text and can lose my way a bit, I think what Manson is getting at is that we shouldn’t strive to be extraordinary. By accepting our ordinariness we can then learn what to ‘give a fuck about’. In brief Manson is telling us to accept that we are not perfect but to get our priorities right. He demonstrates that whilst we can’t always, or even often, control what life throws at us we can control how we respond to it.

In the end, according to me, this book will turn your pain into a tool, your trauma into power and your problems into slightly better problems. This book will not teach you how to gain and achieve, but how to lose and let go, hence discovering yourself in the process. Happy reading!

Mark Manson